I've spent the better part of two decades pretending to be someone I wasn't.
Hiding behind successes and wearing the 'right' thing and consuming the pop culture that was en vogue at the moment. Just try to keep up appearances so no one would turn around and say 'hey, you're not really supposed to be here, are you?'
But it was exhausting. Because I spent years out of alignment from my truth - from the way I naturally speak, think, breathe, move, share, act and love. And I see so many women struggling with this, too.
And it makes total sense. It's scary to put ourselves out there. What is there is someone who calls us out? Someone who thinks we're not smart enough, or that we're too weird, or that our dreams and desires are selfish or just totally nuts?
That would really hurt. And the thing is, we all have this little voice inside that does everything it can to keep us from getting hurt. That's our bitch brain, our inner critic, our mean girl... whatever you want to call it. It's also called our ego.
And the thing about ego is, it speaks loudest and it screams first. We have another little voice in our heads - the voice that my teacher Gabby Bernstein calls our inner guide - that connects us to our dreams. To our deepest truth, the desires of our heart and our soul. That guide is always in there too, but it's a little bit softer than the ego.
In the world we live in today, ego tends to run the show. So many things in our world lead us into a place of fear, lack, scarcity that feels absolutely terrifying. So ego jumps in and screams at us to keep our heads down, to just do what our friends or parents or bosses or lovers or children expect of us and push down these crazy pipe dreams.
But the thing is, all of that is a lie. And I can tell it's a lie because of the way it feels in my body. You can learn that, too.
See, our inner guide or intuition is a link to the universal knowing. It is divine, it is perfect, it cannot be wrong. And when you listen to it and trust it fully, you cannot fail. When you're living from that place of truth, of intuition, it feels good in your body. It feels expansive, open, flowing, light. It feels easy and creative and juicy. Think about a time when you let things be easy for you - how did that feel? How did it physically feel in your body?
That's what it feels like to live in alignment with your truth.
But what about when your bitch brain runs the show? For me, living in that place feels like restriction. I feel tightness in my throat and my chest around my heart. I feel an impending sense of dread or a lack of safety. I feel unsupported and nervous, unsure about my choices and indecisive to the point of madness. In short, I feel terrible.
And I see too many women living their lives in this place. I'm so grateful that I've done the work of returning to my intuition early on - but for so many there are decades of listening to your bitch brain trash talking your every move. Years of uncertainty wearing down your ability to trust yourself and go with your gut. It's exhausting to relearn how to return to that place of love. But the simple truth is, the more you practice, the easier it gets. Like building any muscle, you just have to remember to return to love in every single moment.
When the fear pops up about what your mother in law will think if you post about your newest adventure on Facebook - return to love. When your partner makes a snippy comment - go back to your truth. When someone cuts you off in traffic - send them love, and return to your inner guide. Return to peace, to love, to intuition in every moment.
This is the way that you return to your truth. And you'll be amazed at how well many people will respond to it! Because your truth is beautiful. It is stardust, it is magical, it is pure joy and light and love. And our world needs that love.
It is one of my greatest joys to get to share my truth with you. Even when it's scary. Even when I pour my soul and my heart into a new offering or post or course, and then I get terrified as I hit Enter that everyone will suddenly reject me and think I'm not good enough. And I've learned to see those moments as a gift. Every time my fear story comes up, that's just another reminder of something I need to release. Another reminder to return to love.
And so I say thank you, Universe, and wish that negative thought well on it's way out, and ask that the negative story be turned into something positive for this world. Bless and release. Return to love. Lovingly turn down the volume on your bitch brain.
Rinse and repeat daily, and enjoy the empowerment, joy and radiance that comes from living in alignment with your truth.